By: Angela Martindale
Need some tips to give your self confidence a boost? Check out my suggestions below on how to feel great in your skin, no matter your size or shape. Remember that being healthy is the sexiest “look” you can have!
- Ditch Your Self-Bashing Mind-Set “Left to their own devices, many of us will focus on negative things about ourselves more than the positive,” If you want to revel in body confidence, turn off that self-critical tape that’s on a loop in your head. Take a look at my first week of the Ultimate Transformation for some more inspiration!
- Quit cracking “jokes” about your bod. Even casual, half-kidding self-assessments get lodged in your brain as truth. Get into the habit of censoring yourself every time you’re about to utter a derogatory comment like “I hate my hair. I can’t do it, You are so stupid, I am such a loser.” Turn it around.
- Put yourself in the hot seat.When negative beliefs creep into your mind, fight back and challenge each one like a trial lawyer. Be your own best friend. Have a talk with yourself.
- Listen to what those voices are really saying. Insecure thoughts can be deceiving. They usually occur because you’re feeling powerless or scared in some aspect of your life. So when that inner voice taunts you, ask What’s really bothering me? Maybe you’re anxious about work or had a fight with your sister. Identify the true source of your angst so you can ditch self-hate and tackle the real issue.
- Hang out in your birthday suit.The more time you spend in the buff, the more comfortable you become with your bod. And more important, it makes you feel less inhibited when you’re with your partner too. Your homework: sleep naked, watch TV undressed, and when you step out of the shower, wrap that towel around your hair instead of your butt.
- Work it while you walk. Master a confident stride. It oozes self-assuredness, and nothing’s sexier than that. To strut your stuff, stand tall, keep your neck long and straight, roll your shoulders back and down, and let your hands swing at your sides as you put one foot slightly in front of the other (to make sure you get that catwalk hip sashay). And take your time. A slightly languorous pace screams. I’m too hot to be rushed!
- Stop Comparing Yourself to the Competition. It is a self-destructive waste of time. Being threatened by others—and their perceived perfections—makes it tougher for you to appreciate and play up your assets.
- Fight your “If only…” cravings. Too many of us think that life would be better if they lost a few pounds or had longer legs. Well, guess what? Even if you had those things, you’d find something else to complain about. It never stops because it’s a mind-set, not a real problem. You have to be happy with who you are now.” To kick that wannabe habit, every time you find yourself envying another’s assets, stop and acknowledge something that you like about yourself. You can admire other’s strengths, as long as it’s not at the expense of seeing your own.
- Don’t downgrade others. Surprisingly, criticizing other’s looks, success, or fashion sense actually hurts your self-image as much as envying does. Getting rid of that rating system will help you cut yourself more slack and really feel good. We should build each other up and support one another’s strengths.
- Stop Soliciting Negative Feedback: It goes something like this: “Do these shoes make my ankles look thick?” “C’mon, my arms look flabby, right?” “Just be straight with me my cooking is awful isn’t it?—I can take it.” Enough! Though it might seem like harmless chatter, these queries are insidiously destructive to your self-esteem. You’re just reinforcing unhealthy thoughts.
- Start accepting your props.When you get a compliment— whether it’s your partner praising your body in bed or a colleague admiring how great you look—skip the bashful rebuttal and try something more radical, like a simple “Thank you.” If you stop shutting out flattery and start listening to it, what you’re hearing will gradually become your automatic belief.
- Fake It Until You Feel It. You know how some actors become so immersed in their roles that they practically become their characters? Well, taking on a confident, sexy persona can help you feel like a confident, sexy chick. “If you make a conscious effort to act self-assured, eventually you’ll be that sexy, confident person.” Need some more inspiration? Look at week 9 of the Ultimate Transformation.